Monday, April 11, 2011

The second half begins

Well today I am 50.  I was not looking forward to this day, being alone, so I took the day off, the week off actually, and hunkered down for a dismal day.  Since 2008, I have not celebrated my birthday.  The most important person in my world died on April 9.  My birthday was on April 11.  Its usually several days of emotion - none of it good and they are difficult memories given some difficult circumstances.

But this year, I thought I should acknowledge and come out of the closet, so to speak, about my birthday.  Just this once.  I even told people at work.  They were very sweet - I got an unexpected card that one of my coworkers had made.  How kind it was to take the trouble to do that.  I appreciated it a lot.

My wonderful friends may not be able to be with me today but wow I feel their presence.  I received flowers, more flowers, balloons, cards, chocolates, fabulous wine, photos, emails and phonecalls.  But the best thing I got?  Love.  How lucky am I that people cared enough to try and make this a special day for me.  ESPECIALLY my dear friend S who lives in California now.  My dear dear friend.  God blessed me on the day I met him 26 years ago.  Truly blessed.
So now I'm fifty.  Fifty.  Now I have to really decide who I want to be for the second half of my life.

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